I consider myself a pretty confident and easy-going guy. However, ever since I was a kid, I've occasionally found myself worrying about something way out of proportion to the thing itself.
For example, when I was 10 years old I used to use my bed as a trampoline and enjoyed bouncing up and down on it as if I was in a circus. Then one day I noticed that my bed was leaning a little. When I investigated, I found that my jumping had damaged the legs of the bed and the wooden supports had broken. Rather than doing the usual thing - telling my parents and offering an apology - I spent about a month worrying about it and inventing tons of excuses that allowed me to hide the state of the bed. When I finally got up the courage to tell my Dad, I was braced for the worst. But all he said was "don't worry, we'll get it fixed". Imagine my relief!
There have been several times during my life where I've worried heavily about something and gone through contortions to avoid talking about it. And every time I've finally spoken about what was on my mind, it has seemed silly and small.
When I was a kid, the consequences of this behavior were relatively minor. But as an adult, they have become major, and my recent heartache has been the worst of the lot. The question is: how should I deal with this tendency in the future? How can I learn from my mistakes?
Based on my experience, it seems like the best approach is to talk about something early on so that it doesn't have the chance to take hold and fester. It sounds easy, but for me this will take a lot of courage. Right now, I'm willing to try anything to improve this part of myself before it does any more damage to my well-being.
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